


Had Enough

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-21
Updated: 2009-07-21
Packaged: 2019-03-02 05:39:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13311666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: Tony's had enough..





	Had Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

He's tried. He's tried so hard for months to pretend that he didn't care. It hurt. It hurt more than any of them realized. He was always being put down by his friends, co-workers. And..they didn't even think about his feelings. 

Their boss had retired four months ago. He didn't say good-bye, or good luck. He gave DiNozzo his badge and gun, then just left. Tony had stood there crying as everyone else just wished Gibbs was boss..And not Tony. 

He tried his hardest to be boss. To think and do things like Gibbs would. But in the end, he knew Gibbs would be disappointed in him, as much as his team was. When they got mad at him for just trying so hard to do this, they would say, "Sorry Tony, buy you aren't Gibbs." And it broke him alittle more every time it was said.

He knew he couldn't be Gibbs. But he could try to be as good as him right? And actually have alittle respect. But he didn't get any. Nobody cared. Even Abby, the sweet, over-energetic one, hurt him more than once everyday.

And even when Gibbs was here, In D.C., he got no respect. Tony was never praised or appreciated. He was whacked upside the head and when the boss had been feeling stessed out or angry, he would fuck Tony, to make himself feel better. Then, he would just leave, without a word.

So now, Tony lay on his bed. Holding a pillow, sobbing into it until one whole side was damp. and he still cried. This was normal. He would come home and check for messages on his machine he knew weren't there. He would text and call his friends, waiting for the answer that would never come. And after a while, he would just brake down. Like the broken man he knew he was.

He knew he couldn't live much longer like this. He couldn't and he wouldn't. He didn't think very highly of himself. But he knew he deserved the respect and love he never got. And he wanted it bad, but knew it would never happen. 

So he continued crying. Begging for death or some love from the man he had always loved. But as days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, he knew it would never happen. 

He decided to kill himself. He shot himself and wasn't discovered til a weel later when someone had cared enough to come check on him. And it was not til then did that person realize how much he needed DiNozzo. And for the first time in what felt like centuries, Gibbs cried.


End file.
